Monday 8th May 2000
Library for hours reading any grief book I can find. There must be a reason.
Walking through Myers with Sam, the kids section, I led the way, tears streaming Hurry, don't look, bright clothes and new mothers at the counter, kids and babys surround me, feel like I'm going to scream and never stop. Medicare office and I forgot to bring the receipt so back to the car and then back through Myers don't want to let on how much it hurts. We were at the counter and a baby started crying behind us. Instant freeze. Please stop. I said to Sam that I see how women steal babies. The mother ignored it. If she doesn't pick that baby up I'm going to kill her right here. Started crying at the counter, silent tears streaming down my face. Poor confused girl serving me, no way to stop, and still the baby cried.
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