Sunday, August 15, 2010

It's all fake...

Wednesday 15th August

Back still sore, went to the physio at lunchtime. Asked her about exercises for postnatal women for the book. Feeling down the last few days, Sam put Celine Dion on the CD player and I just was waiting for "Fly" to come on, I cried, he held me. Wrong choice of CD, yet also the right choice, it's such a beautiful song. Tears wouldn't stop. Just when I think there are no tears left I get overwhelmed with them again. Sad, still sad.

Work is hard, every pregnant woman seems to make a beeline straight for me. They all want "something for the nursery" Stomachs bulging, it hurts so much. I ask, "When are you due?" Ask all the questions that people asked me when I was pregnant, I keep the secret, I wonder how many people I spoke to also kept the secret from me?

People still come in that don't know, we got an invite from one of Sam's friends, she doesn't even know that I was pregnant.

Mum gets her cheery voice still, is that what I sound like?

It's all fake.

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