Cake and candles is the last thing I feel like

Saturday 17th June 2000

Perry's birthday today, mine tomorrow. Cake and candles is the last thing I feel like at the moment. It’s hard to think about having my birthday without Aaron. I used to think about my birthday when I was pregnant. I’d have a baby for my present. Maybe when my birthday is over I’ll feel a bit better. Sundays are hard anyway. It’s like a video replay, which I keep waiting to change, I keep waiting for the baby at the end to take home and I get nothing. Cheated! I just feel so cheated! Crying all day. Tears at anything. Home alone. Put the picture of all of us in the frame that mum gave me.